think about all the places we could go
by clarkesgriffins
Summary: Kili woke, panting, to have his mother fuss over him and his brother sit and sharpen his swords on the chair adjacent to his bed. "Are we dead?" were the first words out of his mouth, prompting his brother to laugh and his mother to look at him strangely.
1. one

Kili woke, panting, to have his mother fuss over him and his brother sit and sharpen his swords on the chair adjacent to his bed.

"Are we dead?" were the first words out of his mouth, prompting his brother to laugh and his mother to look at him strangely.

"Are you trying to be funny? You are about to leave on a quest, not go to the Halls. Don't be stupid." And for that, Dis smacked him right on his head.

"Ow," he whined, rubbing his head gently.

"Now come on, you have a few more arrows to make before you leave." She left the room, and Kili was left wondering what was going on.

"Fee, are you sure we aren't dead?" He said curiously to his brother.

"What in Mahal's name makes you say that?" His brother replied, plagued by what Kili was asking him but not wanting to show it.

"Nothing," Kili dismissed. "Just a dream I had, that's all."

Pictures began to flash over his eyes, things that looked like memories. Of a hobbit burglar, of a beautiful elf in the Mirkwood Forest, of a sharp pain in his leg, of the elf again, this time letting off a bright white light as she brought him back from the dead.

Of his uncle falling to the gold sickness, the one that he knew had plagued his father and his grandfather. Of his brother falling limply in front of him, blood staining the front of his armour and of his tunic.

Are these the events that are about to come to pass? Did he just have a vision of the future?

He shook his head wildly before crawling to the side of the bed. He wasn't having visions of anything. That was just his brain coming up with what it thought was about to happen.

He reached over, flailing wildly for any hint of his quiver, but with no luck. He flopped down on the bed, and would have gone to sleep again if it wasn't for his mother dumping his quiver and knife on his face, the arrow's going everywhere.

"Maaaaaa," he groaned. "I worked ages on them."

"Well, you should have been up long ago to work on them, just like your brother did with his swords. Now get to work, you need to be off and running by the time the sun is in the middle of the sky." For the second time that day Dis left him and his brother alone in a room that would cease to be their bedroom from the moment they stepped out the front door and waved goodbye to their mother. This was it.

But the memories were still there, the ones he didn't even remember making. The ones where the company became his family, where a large dwarf named Bombur caught the egg in his mouth at the Burglar's house and the time where another dwarf named Bofur whittled each member a bead because there wasn't any access to a mine or a forge or anything.

The Burglar. Now what was his name? Kili pondered over it for a second, turning over possibilities in his head. Bluebell? Bella?

But that thought didn't last long, as he shook it out quickly. _This was just a dream, why do you care so much about your imaginary burglar's name?_ He looked down at the fletching in his hand, and began to cut and shape them, making them ready to be combined with his arrows before his mother had his braids for his laziness.

He had long finished when Thorin entered the house, wanting to see what his favourite nephews were up to.

"We're your only nephews uncle," Fili called back, which made Kili smile. This friendly banter, this was normal, and it helped to calm his nerves a bit. After finishing the arrows this morning, that was when it really started to sink in that this wasn't a normal day. He was about to leave home for just over a year, to not get those creature comforts that he was so used to. Things like his mother's cooking and an actual bed. He'd miss these things most.

The dream from last night was still playing over and over in his head, and he wondered if maybe he should tell Thorin about it, talk to him, even if it was nothing at all, and it was just a story his brain made up.

But why trouble his uncle with something as unimportant as the dream he had the night before. It was just that, only a dream.

"Now, I am just here to give you both some warning. We are meeting the Company in the courtyard at…" Thorin droned on for a while and Kili immediately tuned out, knowing his brother would do the listening for him. Surprisingly, his mother noticed that he was daydreaming out the window, but decided not to mention it, instead tears glossing over her eyes.

"Will we get to know the names of the members of our company, Uncle?" Fili inquired.

"I feel that they should be able to introduce themselves when you get there. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go and find a man who wants to sell me some ponies."

"Wait Uncle," Kili exclaimed on impulse.

"What is it Kili?"

"Is there a dwarf named Bofur in our company?" Kili asked timidly.

"Why yes, actually. How did you know that?" Thorin questioned, a look of confusion adorning his features.

"His whittlings skills precede him." Kili said definitively, after much consideration.

"Very well." Thorin felt there was something off there, something Kili wasn't telling him. Yes, Bofur was a whittler, but he was a miner by trade, and whittled for friends or family. There was another way that Kili knew Bofur, there had to be.

It better not be courting, or god help that poor dwarf.

When the sun reached the middle of the sky, in synchronisation all of the dwarves of the company began to arrive in the middle of the courtyard, where Thorin had arranged for them to meet.

Bofur, strangely enough, was first, followed by his brother Bombur and his cousin Bifur. Then was the Brother's Ri, Dori, Nori and Ori, who were then followed by Oin, Gloin, Balin and Dwalin. Fili and Kili were the last to arrive, which Thorin found quite typical of the line of Durin.

There were the pleasant introductions all around, except for Kili, who did something quite unexpected and definitely out of line for his personality. He stood at the back. Both Fili and Thorin were quite taken aback by this, as it was more like him to come barging to the front and to demand attention. But, instead he stood quietly, spoken only when spoken to, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Something was definitely going on here.

Kili, on the other hand, now knew that that dream was no dream. Each and every dwarf that had once accompanied him on his travels was now here, right in front of him, all of the company bar the burglar.

That was why, this morning, he couldn't get the thought of not knowing the name out of his head. This burglar, Kili was going to meet him in the next month, where they all arrive periodically. The food fight, his hesitance to join the company's pursuit in fear of leaving what he knows, and to a lesser extent, the dragon itself.

He was no burglar in the beginning, but he was at the end, and maybe that's what counted here. His heart was in the right place. _Thorin,_ his brain supplied, and that was probably right. He could easily recall the glances that they shared, the ones that lingered a bit longer than they should have, where Thorin and Bilbo…

Bilbo! That was the burglar's name. Bilbo Boggins. Probably. It was close enough at least.

He focused back on the scene in front of him, where Thorin was giving an inspiring speech to the group to motivate them, or something along the same line. This wasn't something Kili needed to pay attention to particularly, instead choosing to focus on the dwarves he didn't know he had been missing his entire life.

 _This was it,_ he thought, _It's time to change the future._

Strangely enough, he hated every second of it now.

When he left, his mother had cried for the loss of her remaining family, and there was many emotional goodbyes from the rest of the Companies own families. After that there was the hype of setting off, the one where they were all buzzing on this invisible energy that had infected them all.

Then after that, four days in to be precise, no one would speak to each other outside of their own family groups. This wasn't anything like what had happened in his dream. He remembered things like singing around a fire and throwing plates in the dining room. These memories they acted like comrades, but here they were strangers.

Weirdly enough, he was almost praying for some sort of attack, one where something goes horribly wrong but they all band together to fix it and in the end they all have an increased sense of camaraderie and companionship with each other. But that wasn't going to happen any time soon, so Kili set about doing it the other way. Food.

He still remembered all of their favourite's sweets, the pastries and the scones, the cakes and the brownies. He just hoped that someone else on the other side of the Shire would remember too. And maybe cook them up a feast.

On the other side of the Shire, Bilbo Baggins had also awoke with a start. His head was swimming with memories of the life that he had led, the one where he had grown old and sailed to the Undying Lands.

But here he was, not even fifty, sleeping in Bag End, with a full pantry, no more aching bones and excitement filling his stomach. Something told him that today was the day.

Today was the day that 13 dwarves and a wizard came knocking on his freshly painted green door and asked him to become a burglar, to steal a mountain, to steal a home, back from a dragon that had not been seen in over sixty years, well before Bilbo himself was born. And today was the day that he first laid eyes on Thorin Oakenshield, the only love of his life.

Bilbo remembers this day more than ever, because he got insulted over nothing. What he was to learn was that this was the way that dwarves show affection, through petty insults and curses. What they would come to learn was that this would confuse hobbits beyond measure, and some discussion about cultural differences would definitely take place.

But he was startled out of his thoughts by the realisation that he had nothing to feed them, because god knows how last time went. With the raiding of the pantry leading to an uncooked meal, he would not let them go hungry a second time. This time, he would cook them a decent meal, filled with all of their favourites.

He had not forgotten them, even over all of these long years. He could not, for they were one of the only things left that tied him to his dwarves.

So he got to work, whipping up raspberry tarts and lemon curds for Dwalin, and a peach cobbler for Balin. A bread and butter pudding for Oin, blueberry scones for Gloin. Strawberry ice-cream for Bofur and caramelised banana pudding for Bifur. For Bombur, he made a fresh apple cake, and Ori got himself a triple chocolate cake. For Dori, blackberry and apple upside down cake, and for Nori, lemon bars. Fili and Kili got themselves a batch of chocolate brownies and some chocolate ice-cream and whipped cream to complete it.

And Thorin, well he got old Great-Great-Grandma Baggins' special plum tart, which was only made in special occasions. And god knows he was worth it.

There was also the preparation of a main course, but Bilbo didn't worry about that one now. Those pesky dwarves could handle themselves.

By the time he was pulling the last batch of brownies out of the oven, he heard a knock on the door, three times over. Dwalin was here.

"Master Dwalin I presume? I'm Master Baggins, at your service. If you could please go into the pantry and start getting food out for dinner that would be lovely thank you. Just this way," Bilbo was awful flustered at seeing his old friend just standing there, and attempted to disguise it by acting busy. He hoped it worked, but he couldn't seem to read Dwalin as well as he could a hundred years ago.

But it all worked out okay, because in the next moment, he saw Dwalin sniffing the air. "There wouldn't happen to be raspberry tarts or lemon curds for dessert Master Baggins?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes there is Master Dwalin, and they're all for you, but only if you help get some food out for dinner. God knows how hard it is to cook for 13 dwarves and a wizard without any help."

Dwalin's smile looked like it could light up the entire Middle Earth, and for a second, Bilbo thought he could see some of the Dwalin he remembered, hidden away in it. But he knew that wouldn't be possible, or else he would have come right out with it. That was just how Dwalin was.

Balin was next, and everything proceeded in an orderly fashion with him, bar the friendly head butt between him and his brother.

But Fili and Kili were different. "Fili," said the first.

"And Kili," said the second.

"At your service," they both bowed in synchronisation.

Fili strode in, his familiar mix of swagger and poise comforting to Bilbo. But Kili, on the other hand, was calm and collected, not like he was at the beginning of the journey. He almost went to wipe the bottom of his feet on his mother's glory box, but something stopped him. Bilbo knew instantly what it was.

He walked over and tugged on Kili's arm, dragging him over to the study and shutting the door behind him.

"I'm sorry," Kili began, but Bilbo cut him off. There was no time for silly things like discretion.

"Do you know what happened last time someone tried to do this 'quest' to Erebor?" Bilbo questioned.

"Do you mean my grandfather or…" Kili trailed off, realising his mistake the moment he finished his sentence.

"The fact you said or means you remember what I remember. Good, that's all I need to know. If you'll excuse me, I have some more dwarves to welcome in."

A weight Kili didn't even know he was carrying suddenly lifted from his chest, making him feel lighter than he had since he woke up the morning he had left for this quest. Bilbo remembered! There was going to be someone who understood his worry, who understood what he was going through, someone who was going through the same thing.

He wasn't alone.


	2. two

two

The entire contents of the massive pantry, bar the desserts that were sitting out on the kitchen bench, was spread out on the dining table, all of it being consumed by a bunch of messy, hungry dwarves. They were going to clean up soon, a sight Bilbo was more than looking forward to.

They would sing, they would dance and they would act more like the dwarves Bilbo remembered than the ones that they were now.

It now made sense that Kili was the one to initiate the singing, considering that he was the only one that remembered what had happened before.

It must have been an old bar song though, because they all seemed to know the words and the tune, changing only the name to his own. This was familiar, this was normal and this reassured him that he could make them open up and turn them into the family he had once.

One day, he reasoned. One day.

Kili, on the other hand, was having the time of his life. This was familiar also to him, but there were gaps here, the discussion in between the singing especially. Suddenly, there was a few sharp knocks on the door, and Kili knew instantly that Thorin had arrived.

The green door swung open, and there, in all his glory, was the dwarf Bilbo had fallen in love with all of those years ago. He wanted to stand there, to gape at him alive and well, but he refrained, as that would be silly. He was a gentle hobbit, not a pining little boy. Scratch that, he was a pining gentle hobbit.

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way twice and I would not have found it at all if it wasn't for that mark on that door."

"Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."

"Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?"

"Axe or sword, what's your weapon of choice?"

"I'm a burglar Master Oakenshield, not a warrior. Knives are the best for me, knives and my sword, one I that was taken from me by some pesky trolls. I might find it on the journey, or so I hope," he snapped, taking Thorin by surprise.

However, Thorin gathered himself after only a few moments, humming contentedly as he pushed his way into the dining room.

"Yes Gandalf, I do believe that this hobbit might make an adequate burglar, even though he looks like a grocer." The company burst into peals of laughter, making Bilbo push down a smile. He was used to being called a grocer by now, considering that was the most common insult on the road.

"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to the mountain assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people stands unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance this chance to take back Erebor?" The dwarfs cheered, but Balin looked unconvinced.

"You forget, the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain," he sighed.

'That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf pulled from what seemed like nowhere, a key, one Thorin, Bilbo and Kili all instantly recognised.

"How did you come by this?" Thorin whispered hoarsely.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf handed the key over to Thorin, all of the dwarves silent for once.

"If there is a key," Fili elaborated, "There must be a door."

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls," Gandalf remarked, pointing to the map on the table.

"There's another way in." Kili said quietly, definitively even, muttering something underneath his breath afterwards. Bilbo knew that he was muttering something about the previous quest, about everything that had gone wrong when they searched for that god damn door, but that was an issue that they could talk about when they got there.

"If we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I don't have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage. But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar," Ori exclaimed, looking more excited for this than he should be.

"Yes, an expert I suppose," Bilbo wondered aloud, hoping that he would be up for this task a second time around.

"And are you laddie?" Balin inquired.

"Yes, I do suppose so. I have done an awful lot of thievery in my life, but only for a good cause," Bilbo retorted calmly. He'd have to find that stupid ring though, if he stood any chance against Smaug.

"Give him the contract," Thorin grumbled.

Balin reached into his pocket and pulled out a long sheet of paper that was almost as tall as him.

"It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." Bilbo glanced over the contract Balin had given him, and he knew it was the same one that he had been given the first time.

Thorin bent over to Gandalf, feelings he had not felt in a long time swirling up inside him. This person, this hobbit, someone he had met only today was making him feel like this, like they had known each other for thousands of years. For some reason, he felt the need to confirm to Gandalf that he could not guarantee anything when it came to the hobbit, although a voice in the deepest part of his heart told him that he would do anything to protect this company's burglar.

"I cannot guarantee his safety."

"Understood."

"Nor will I be responsible for his fate."

"Agreed."

 _Yes Thorin,_ a voice from deep down inside of him said, _you will be responsible for his fate._

"Terms, cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit if any. Seems fair. Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence there of including but not limited to laceration, evisceration... incineration?" Bilbo read aloud, wondering if they knew what was to come.

"Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye. Think furnace with wings. Flash of light, searing pain, then poof, you're nothing but a pile of ash," Bofur said creepily, intending to scare Bilbo. He just laughed.

"Yes Master Bofur, I have seen a dragon before," he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice, which took most of the company by surprise.

"You've seen a dragon Master Baggins?" Ori asked curiously.

"Yes, Master Ori. Stolen from one too. Quite easy, I must admit. We hobbits can pass unseen by many if we so desire, and so it makes us the perfect thieves to steal from a dragon. Plus, your dragon will know what the smell of dwarf, elf and man would be, but it won't be expecting a hobbit."

This took both Gandalf and all of the dwarves by surprise, most of their mouths falling open in awe and surprise at what he was claiming. Luckily for him, however, Gandalf was the first one to gather his wits together, deciding to back up his story.

"Yes, Master Baggins has faced many a dragon in his time," he claimed, which made Bilbo puff out his chest slightly, proud of his kind of non-existent accomplishments, but only in this universe. He had done this, and he could do it again. He'd need to find that ring though, or else he probably didn't stand a chance.

"It appears we have found our burglar then." Balin said proudly, when him and Thorin had a moment alone. "Probably for the best, as the odds are now closer to our favour. But you don't have to do this. You have a choice. You have done honourably by our people. You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains. A life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers and toymakers. Hardly the stuff of legend."

"There are a few warriors amongst us."

"Old warriors."

"I would take each and every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honour, a willing heart. I cannot ask more than that. I never had a choice here, Balin. From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me. They dreamt of the day when the dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There no choice Balin. Not for me."

"Then we are with you laddie. We will see it done."

Bilbo was sitting now on the empty dining table, wondering if he was making the right decision to change the future. Yes, he was going to save Thorin Oakenshield, Fili and Kili, but in doing that he is forsaking his own nephew, one that hasn't even been born yet.

If he does this, he will make sure that Frodo never goes on his quest, makes sure that there is no reason for him to ever be in any sort of danger. He wants to make sure that Primula and Drogo never go swimming, never have any reason to be near the river, even if that means forsaking his relationship with Frodo. All he wanted was for Frodo to be happy, whether that means with him or with his parents.

He would find the ring, down in the caves with Gollum, he would use it to save the company, and then he would destroy it, just like Frodo did. He looked down at the piece of parchment in front of him, not knowing what he was going to say, or if it would make any sense, or how to go about telling the rest of Hobbiton that he was going on an adventure, but that wouldn't make him sound crazy.

"Lost for words?" Kili's familiar voice came floating through the room.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the company or something?" Bilbo said, tiredness seeping into his voice.

"Yes, I probably should be."

"Then why aren't you?" Bilbo inquired softly.

"I can't do it. I can't look at them, any of them, without thinking of what happens after. What happens to Fili after."

"Imagine how your mother reacted when she met Thorin in the Halls again."

"God, his braids would have been in mortal peril."

"There are so many different things that could have happened that day. You just can't blame yourself for any of it. On the upside, we do have a chance to fix it now so…"

"We better not stuff it up," Kili laughed bitterly, unshed tears shining in his eyes.

"Now off you go. Go and sing that melancholy song that makes me cry every time I hear it." Bilbo smiled, using his hand to wipe away the tears. God, the pair of them, crying over something that hadn't even happened yet.

"Fine." Kili groaned, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He pushed himself up using the table and walked out of the dining room, preparing himself not to cry over words that meant so much to him, yet not enough to the rest of the company.

Unbeknownst to them, Fili had been standing in the doorway, listening to everything that they had been saying. It didn't make sense, for them to talk about him like that. It was like he had died, like they had all died some time, and that Kili and Bilbo remembered something that no one else in this company did.

That scared him, more than he cared to admit, even to himself. What had happened that his brother couldn't tell him? They had told each other everything, from the moment he was born they were bonded in every way, shape and form, but now, there was something that he had deemed too dangerous to tell his older brother, and instead trusted it to a relative stranger? How could he do that? Why would he do that?

Why?

He snuck away, placing himself in the corner of the room where the Company was gathered, so that no one would notice that he was gone. He would deal with his brother later.

Bilbo could hear them singing now, just faintly, as he moved closer to the door. He couldn't stop himself from crying, as he remembered now those who survived, and those who did not.

 _Far over the Misty Mountains cold,_

The fog had long settled over the battlements of Erebor, the mountain itself looking tired and run down, especially because of lack of use. Bilbo remembered looking up at that mountain, feeling both excited and afraid, the ground seemingly vibrating underneath the ground.

 _To dungeons deep and caverns old._

The gold, piled high, almost reaching the ceiling. Smaug was there, seemingly dead, except for the vibrations that shook each of the piles every few seconds. It seemed impossible that he would ever find that stupid stone in here, the one that caused all of his problems.

 _We must away ere break of day_

The sun rising over the burnt remains of Dale, people screaming for their loved ones lost, crying for the ones that were saved and the ones that were lost. This was what Bilbo wanted most of all to avoid, and the now burning wreckages were a constant reminder of what his mistakes have done to the people around him, and the people that he loved.

 _To find our long forgotten gold._

The Arkenstone sat there proudly, shining on top of Erebor's throne. This was what he was here for, searching for. At the time, he wondered if he was making a mistake, because something in his gut was telling him that this wasn't something he should bring back to Thorin.

But he ignored his gut, even though that was what got Thorin killed, because he was more important. Bilbo loved him too much.

 _The pines were roaring on the height,_

The pines were on fire, caused by both the Company and the Orcs. As Azog drew nearer, he knew that he needed to do something. And then somehow, through some miracle, his body seemed to move. He just moved, his only goal to save Thorin Oakenshield's life. And he did.

 _The winds were moaning in the night_

The sounds of orcs and wargs, carried on the wind, making it almost impossible for any member of the company to sleep. Those winds, they carried messages, the sounds of the dead and the alive, haunting Bilbo's every moment.

 _The fire was red, it flaming spread._

He could see from the top of the mountain Dale, as it was now just a beacon of flames. There were so many people who would have been slaughtered as they sleep, just because Bilbo and the Company couldn't keep the dragon contained.

They should have known that there would be no way to kill it, not without the Black Arrow. They just needed to hope that some miracle would come, one they would later find out was sent in the form of Bard the Bowman.

 _The trees like torches blazed with light._

And that miracle, the one Bilbo prayed for, it didn't last long. They were all at war again, five different armies not knowing who was the enemy and who was the ally, just slaughtering everyone in their path in the hope that they would get out alive, to make it home to their families. The death count, Bilbo would later find out, would encompass more than sixty percent of all armies.

 _The pines were roaring on the height_

Thorin, however much support he had from the dwarves of the Iron Hills, knew that it wouldn't be enough. Orcs and Goblins and Elves and Men, all fighting each other because he was arrogant, because he succumbed to the gold sickness of his predecessors. He could not do anything about it now, could not call off a war just by saying stop and apologizing. No, the only way that he could bow out of this one was in death, and that wouldn't be enough. Not ever.

 _On silver necklaces they strung._

Go. That was all he wanted. Thorin was unflinching, however, would not turn away from his nephew as he was slaughtered. He deserved to know that someone cared about him in his final moments, enough to stand by him here. He would run nowhere. Fili deserved that much.

 _The flowering stars on crowns they hung._

Kili looked at Tauriel, trying to tell her to go, run far away from here so she would be safe. But no sound would come out, as the sword ripped through his core. She would not move, did not flinch as Bolg ripped the sword through her too. She would go easily from this world, now that the one thing keeping her here was gone.

 _The dragon fire, in twisted wire._

Fili and Kili were unmoving now, had been moved together. Fili protected Thorin, Kili protected Tauriel, and now, their efforts were in vain. They were all dead now, all together in wherever they went when they were gone. And for what? Just to leave the aching survivors behind.

 _They meshed the light of moon and sun._

Tea is at 4:00. Don't bother knocking. Bilbo wondered if they would come to tea this time around, or if maybe this time, they didn't have to.


	3. three

three

And suddenly, they were on the road again. Marching, as a company towards the Lonely Mountain. It had been about two weeks since Bilbo had slept in his own bed, or somewhere comfortable, and his body was beginning to feel the strain of the life on the road. He definitely didn't remember his body being as sore the first time around.

The company was still as distant from him as ever, which wasn't the best thing, but he remembered what he was like the first couple of weeks on the road, all of his complaining and his whining, all while being rude and distant to the company. It took a few near death experiences to scare that out of him, that's for sure.

Bofur was probably the one who was closest to who he was before, as he was still the dapper, cheerful and friendly dwarf that Bilbo remembered. He was also the one who was most likely to talk to Bilbo, not counting Kili, of course.

"How you holding up Master Baggins?" Bofur said cheerfully to him one day.

"Oh I'm fine Master Bofur. Just dreaming of a nice warm bed. Do you think we'll stop in Rivendell?" Bilbo asked politely, not wanting to offend him.

"Definitely not, going on Thorin's definite dislike of those tree-shaggers." Bofur let out a small chuckle, making Bilbo smile inwardly.

"I think we will actually. Lord Elrond is said to be one of the only people in Middle Earth who is able to read the hidden runes on the map Thorin is carrying. I'd say we need him. Plus, I think they would get along if Thorin managed to realise that Lord Elrond isn't anything like Thranduil." He tried his hardest to make the words seem nonchalant, if anything, but Bofur wasn't convinced.

"How do you know about that?"

"When Gandalf told me of your arrival, I did my research on all of you. Well, as many as I could find. The Shire doesn't really carry many books about dwarves, although we do have a few. The Shire, for all its ignorance, is knowledgeable on some things." Bilbo was lying through his teeth, and he was praying that Bofur didn't know him well enough yet to call him out on it. Luckily enough for him, he didn't, edging forward to talk to his brother instead.

Bilbo breathed a sigh of relief, wondering half-heartedly when he would have to tell them all about their respective fates, who would live on after this and who wouldn't. That seemed to be the most common thought on his mind these past two weeks, and he wondered if it would ever leave his head.

"Do not trouble yourself with the future Master Baggins. Just trouble yourself with what's happening here and now." Kili said softly, urging his pony forward so he could catch up to Bilbo.

"Since when did you get so wise?" Bilbo half laughed.

"Since I lived my life twice, just like you." Kili said, smiling.

"Great, I have to live with 13 insufferable dwarves, and you feel you need to make it worse by being an insufferable know it all," the sarcasm evident in his voice.

"You know me Master Baggins, just have to annoy my elders all of the time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an uncle that I need to make relax a little bit." Kili was full on grinning now, prompting Bilbo to return the smile.

"Be careful. You never know how he is feeling," he half-heartedly warned, knowing that Thorin probably needed the laugh anyway.

"Since when did you get so wise?"

"Since I lived my life twice, just like you. Go on then, make him lighten up a bit. If it doesn't do anything to him, it definitely will do something to the rest of the company." Bilbo said, urging him on, but praying to the gods above that Kili didn't drag his name into the aftermath. That probably wouldn't end well.

Much to Kili's chagrin, Thorin was not particularly happy to have all of his weaponry go suspiciously missing, a.k.a. hidden in Fili and Kili's satchels and on their persons, and the lecture that they got that evening was definitely going to put them off playing practical jokes for the rest of the day, if not tomorrow as well.

After all, there was always the day after that to make the rest of the company lighten up.

But Fili wanted to find out what was going on with his brother. Things between them were changing, faster than he would ever like to admit, and Kili and Master Baggins seemed to be spending an awful lot of time together.

Were they courting?

Yes, that had to be it. Master Baggins was Kili's one. That would explain the hushed conversations and the desire to spend more time with each other, and the long conversations that no one else was ever included in. They were courting, or at least, they most likely will be, if Kili ever got his act together and produced a suitable courting gift for him.

It would again fall underneath role of big brother to smack some sense into his younger brother, and he resolved to do it at the earliest possible opportunity.

Unluckily for him, however, an opportunity did not present itself until later that week, where his brother and his beloved had had many opportunities to be alone with each other.

The conversation, as Fili would later recall, embarrassment obvious in his cheeks.

Fili clutched tightly to his brothers arm and dragged him away from the rest of the company when they made camp, ignoring his protests.

"What are you doing?" Kili queried, confusion evident in his voice.

"Don't tell me you don't know," Fili almost spat, slapping him up the head. "Now, you need to get your act together and start manning up. Have you even got a suitable courting gift in your head? How do you plan to make it? Have you already made promises and you will do that after the quest is over?"

"What in Mahal's name are you talking about?" Kili was so confused about what Fili was talking about. He didn't have plans to court anyone, well, if you didn't count **her.**

"Master Baggins of course. Now, what are you doing about your gift?" Fili was getting impatient, but he suddenly became very confused when Kili started to laugh.

"Master Baggins?" He got out between laughs.

"Yes, idiot." Fili slapped him again. "Be serious about this."

"You think I want to court Master Baggins?" His laugher hadn't ceased, which prompted Fili to rethink what he had been thinking about the pair.

"Well, yes. You have been spending an awful lot of time together lately," he queried, watching Kili laugh even harder. "Why in Mahal's name are you laughing?"

"First of all, no. Second of all, no. And third of all, I'm pretty sure his hearts set more on our uncle than me." Kili said like it was obvious. "You seriously believed that we were courting?"

"Maybe," Fili said bashfully, embarrassment setting in in the form of a pink stain on his cheeks.

"God, Fili."

"Then humour me. What were you talking about when you go off with him, huh?" This stopped Kili in his tracks, the laughter halting almost instantly.

"Go on them." Fili insisted.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't understand? Kili, we've been telling each other things since the day you were born, our deepest fears, the person we liked, what secrets we were keeping from mother. So whatever you are keeping from me, no matter what it is, it isn't going to change anything. It never has." Fili was confused by this point. There wasn't anything in the world that would make him think any less of his brother.

"Yes it will. It will change everything, our whole dynamic, even the companies dynamic. This isn't something that I can just tell you Fili. It's too dangerous." Dangerous. That didn't even compute with him. What sort of secret could be dangerous?

"I'll… I'll… I'll go to Uncle then," he said, not really meaning it. "Tell him about this dangerous secret, and then you'll be forced to tell the entire company. So, if you don't want them to find out, just tell me. I hereby solemnly swear that I will love you unconditionally, no matter what you have to tell me."

"You died," Kili whispered.

"What?"

"You died." He said again, still too faintly for Fili to hear.

"What?"

"YOU DIED, OKAY! This quest, this adventure, has happened once before, in another universe or something of a similar nature. Only Bilbo and I remember it. We remember what happened, how we got there, all of the perils that we faced. I know that you fall at the hands of Azog, along with Uncle. I, on the other hand, am killed by Bolg, his second in command. We are both protecting people and we both fail. So there, there you have it. You die, because I can't protect you, and I die because you're already six feet underground and there isn't anything you can do."

Fili didn't know what his brother was saying. He could be lying, lying to avoid telling Fili his big secret, but something in Fili's gut was telling him that that wasn't the case. These words, they had struck a chord with him, and suddenly, his head was swimming with memories that could not have been from this life. Most predominantly, to his dismay, was the phantom pain of a sword that had gone straight through his stomach.

"How did I die?" He asked quietly, knowing that the answer would tell him if his brother was telling the truth.

"Sword straight through the stomach then dropped off a cliff," Kili said simply, staring at the ground.

And so he wasn't lying. The phantom pains in his stomach were telling him as such.

"You know telling me this will change the future, right?" Fili tried to make a joke, tried to lighten the situation a bit, which make Kili smile with disbelief.

"You believe me?" He said, surprised.

"Yeah. You're my brother. I can't not believe you. It's in the big brother contract." Fili said resolutely. And it was, the clause being that he had to love him unconditionally.

"Lucky for me that exists then." Kili said softly.

"Definitely." There was a pause, before Fili spoke again. "Are you ever going to tell Thorin?"

"I'm leaving that one to Bilbo, because he, unlike me, will know when the time is right, even if that time is after Erebor has been reclaimed. We are going to do the best that we can to keep him alive, no matter what that means. Plus, if we tell him now, we have to deal with the drowning in self-pity Thorin and I hate that Thorin."

Fili gave a sound of agreement as he got up.

"You know I love you, right?" He said, trying to reassure himself more than Kili.

"Of course I know that. It's in the little brother contract, remember?" Kili said, trying to lighten the mood, even though the sadness that was in his voice seemingly ruined that.

"Of course." Fili smiled, a real smile, as he walked back to camp, his heart heavy. He was doomed to die, no matter what happened. He quite honestly didn't know whether he could change the future or not, even though it was something that hadn't come to pass.

At least now Bilbo and Kili had someone to share the burden with.

On one side of the Mirkwood Forest, an auburn haired elf stood on guard, watching for any signs of movement from the trees. It would be many days before a company of dwarves came wandering through the forest, but this time, she would not miss them. She could not miss them.

Her head was swimming with thoughts, with memories of a future that had not happened yet, but one she remembered experiencing. Where she had given up her life because she could not think of living one without him.

Now, he was her only goal, to get to him, to keep him safe, to make sure that he knew that he was loved, no matter how he exits this world.

She only hopes he remembers her too.


End file.
